We've made the mutual boredom between us quite easy

What a beautiful blog while it lasted.

2009-02-20T07:16:00.000-08:00

Hi,

So my blog has moved. I really need a place on the internet that is my own, if I ever want to grow.

http://carpyann.nfshost.com/kemiblog/

alert the masses, update your links, feast on my new rss feed.
kemiblog.com* has a new home.

* not the real url...yet.

changing seasons

2009-02-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

winter on its way out, spring on the way in. The snow is finally melting away, that rat corpse i pass everyday on my way to work can now finally decompose in peace. Those huge mountains, by the train tracks near my house, of what i thought were snow, can melt away to reveal the dirt foundations underneath. I no longer have to shiver myself to sleep at night, or wear tights beneath my pants, spring is here.

spring is forever.
:)

quickpost

2009-01-26T17:01:00.000-08:00

I was looking at pictures from way back when, like two years ago. It amazes me how much things change but also how they stay the same.

I actually hate that phrase, because I didn't think it made any sense. Well I guess it does, no matter how much you want people to change, they'll stay the same, environments and circumstances change, but in the end people stay the same. People and their personalities are constants. After a critical period our brains become hardwired, connections and pathways are locked in place, and learning becomes much more difficult.

Sometimes I'm think I'm pretty stubborn, if I make a judgment about someone, rarely does it change. In the past, I've tried, but it's never worked out.

Self serving people will always serve themselves.
Co-dependent people will always depend on the company of others.
Lazy people are lazy and will always be.

The funny thing is people reap what they sow. So when it comes time to buckle down to work, when you need someone to help you out of a jam, or when you're left without company, these people will have only themselves to blame for their downfall.

I really like the idea of justice, I think it's a total social construct, but it's hilarious when things fall into place. Speaking of which, I should make my bed, so I have something to lie in.

Everyone's doing it.

2009-01-21T07:22:00.000-08:00

Obama is president and Lost season 5 premieres tonight. I could not be any happier. It's been awhile since I've blogged, nothing super interesting has happened well a few things like I met this dude. It was one pretty crazy night.

As you can surmise, from the link he was extremely creepy. When I met him though I hadn't been aware about all that...

Claire and I ascended the stairs, looking for a bathroom so I could change into my bathing suit. We came across a small room with a homely stocky fellow sitting cross legged on a bed, as though he was waiting for something or someone. I looked over his shoulder as he acknowledged us, on his computer screen played the orgy scene from 'Eyes Wide Shut'. Before I could ask about the video, he directed our attention to the bowl of Scooper Tostitos (sans salsa or any dipping medium for that matter) placed neatly before him, as some type of offering. His name was Jon. Jon, motioned to the corner of his room to a small bar setup with an insubstantial amount of hard liquor, implored us to help ourselves to a drink. Claire and I clutched the cups we currently held and politely declined. Claire suddenly realized she had seen this guy before, 'You're Tim the Beaver from that fetish house' she exclaimed, 'He was looking for 'kink friendly' roommates on Craigslist', she said as she turned to me.

Jon offered us his 'card', then started to talk about freedom and exploring sexuality in comfort. Due to a combination of my copious alcohol consumption and general disinterest; my mind wandered, snapped back only when I heard him refer to Claire as 'easily confused'. I asked if he had just called my friend stupid, where Jon retorted, 'No, I said she was easily confused'. Jon obviously didn't see the parallels in those two statements. For someone who needs to fix a dating site in order to find girls to stalk, he had a rather insulting nature. Not to mention, he knew nothing about picking up girls, because he perched precariously at the top of stairs, at a party for queer women, hoping that some poor little lesbian would get lost, so he could swoop in and seduce her with salted snacks and sexiest three minutes and 42 seconds of 'Eyes Wide Shut'

Well, I guess I should also mention I went to a Queer Women's party. I had a lot of fun, in the air was an awkwardness that was easily ignorable. I wasn't concerned with impressing anyone or looking cute, it felt fine to just have a good time, dance, and drink my liver retarded. I also noticed A LOT of the lezbotz looked alike.

The average height in the room was around 5'4", looking down I saw different colored versions of the same lezbot chop. This was not conformity however, as many of the women had at least one facial piercing, proving her legitimacy as member of counter culture. Most wore simple fitted t-shirts with jeans, not the usual "shiny top and 'just wider than a belt' skirt" party uniform worn by a heterosexual females to become sexual prey. Underneath the modest dressing most had slender, tight, muscular bodies, much like a gymnasts, there was no doubt, just like heterosexual counterparts their body image was an important, everyone was in shape.

One notable exception was the bouncer who was a big burly dyke with facial hair and a no nonsense demeanor. She looked as if she was made out of 4 to 5 of the smaller lezbots. Roosted on a stool in the middle of the kitchen, scowling defiantly, as she sat a full head and shoulders above the lezbian party goers she was there to protect, the bulldyke was more fire hazard than security measure.

I soon had to leave the lesbian party, I had a prior engagement, Dalis was having a birfday party and simply just had to attend. It was a lot of fun, everyone was really, really drunk.

All in all interesting evening.

are you a Cooking Mama

2009-01-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

Question: What's more exciting than marinating chicken overnight?
Answer: Not much.

I'm looking forward to dinner tonight!!!

New kitten!

2008-12-29T16:02:00.000-08:00

I got a new roommate

sick

2008-12-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

sick again. the same thing keeps happening. my throat gets swollen and there's tons of mucous, I sound like a frog when i speak. when i drink cold things it feels like the mucous is closing up my throat. warm things makes my throat feel better.

glurghhhh <- throat noise

Seinfeld

2008-12-16T16:22:00.000-08:00

Haven't you noticed how over the years technology (i.e. cell phones and internet) has made certain episodes of seinfeld obsolete?

1. The movies - through various mishaps the gang can't see the movie they want end up watching rochelle, rochelle a movie about a girls exotic journey from milan to minsk.

2. The IQ test - elaine is helping george cheat on an IQ test by passing it through a window, kramer locks elaine in jerry's apartment while she's taking the test so she can't get back to george in time.

I'm sure there tons more maybe i'll keep a list...

Another governer bites the dust

2008-12-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

Blagojevich, Blagojevich, Blagojevich...

I remember i guess it was around 5 years ago, you ran your campaign pledging to stop gubernatorial corruption in illinois.

I was actually pretty confused when i found out what he got arrested for. Selling Obama's senate seat, hmm I thought that's how all politicians played the game, you scratch my back, I scratch yours? You donate to campaign, when I get elected I'll find you some schweet board to be on where you get paaaaid for doing absolutely nothing.

Is he in trouble because he foolishly stated the obvious out loud? In the scheme of things, it's not so bad is it? It's not like he put 40 tons metal barreling down a highway at 95+ mph into the hands of the untrained, threatening the lives of our minivans and loved ones.

Well actually who knows how deep this corruption hole goes?

3 out of 6 illinois' governers convicted of political misdeeds. eek. will it soon be 4 out of 7?

---------

I think people need to stop being surprised, all politicians are in it to win it...i.e. they want a lil' something something for themselves.

when the power of love
replaces of the love of power
man will have a new name, god.

here's another good one from that poet

Yesterday I was clever.
That is why I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise.
That is why I am changing myself

2008-12-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

i kizzed a boy and i liked it
his lips tasted like regular chapstick
i kizzed a boy just to try it

weak end

2008-12-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

It was not a bad weekend considering. There were so many people I saw that I was NOT expecting, it really cheered me up. (Thanks to all the awesome people I saw, you guys are awesome, seeing you was awesome) I'm hoping this weekend is even better, there's a holiday party at work (the infamous bcs holiday party ::eyebrow raise::), ms. sehrawat is coming to town (not as fat as santa but maybe more jolly), and we're having a 'Holidaze' party at my house, i'm sure there'll be tons of eggs benedict and 'holidaze' sauce.

okay that doesn't make sense but i'm in constant joke mood since I'm writing, ugh, and it's tough. I try to write everything i think is remotely funny, waiting for comedic gold seems like a waste because it'll never come, well I don't if that's true, but I figure just get it all out and maybe i'll find ways to make it funnier or maybe it's already funny and i'm just too hard on myself.

my stone heart is flesh again

2008-12-05T10:35:00.001-08:00

This is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, one dog risks his life to save another dog, stranded on the highway after a car hit him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGP5uR2N660&feature=related

why hasn't disney optioned this for a movie, cartoon series, and line of collectible lunchboxes yet?

can't sleep

2008-12-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

so i'm writing.

ugh i need to actually be doing work, not just writing pointless ruminations....

'the body will not function if the heart is not well', that's not shakespeare but it should be!

i need my conditioning to wear off, i'm going to make some chicken!

ps it's already marinated.

2008-12-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

people should take a cue from animals, what's the use of hiding?
i really don't get it.
i need to get a cat.

maybe i'll understand then?

no title

2008-12-03T21:10:00.001-08:00

there's a dil3mma which i've been struggling with for quite awhile.

i think i know the which choice is right (for me). well i known which choice was right for me for about a year.

i'm purposely being vague, because, well i don't think it's appropriate to discuss in a blog. to be honest, i don't know when it's appropriate to discuss, so i don't discuss it with anyone.

well, right now this decision is right for me, i hope it'll work out.

-------------------

i'm going to disappear

THANKS

2008-12-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

lettuce give tanks.

hmm. I miss my sister's dogs, animals are so awesome. I can't believe I've never owned one.

I wish I had a cat. I wish I had so many things!

I need to look up this quote,

'As flies to wanton boys, we are to the gods, they kill us for sport', I want to say it's shakespeare, but what? I know I'm going to kick myself in the face for not knowing this. I've definitely read this before.

Some canadian scientist once told me that shakespeare coined a 1/3 of the english language, that claim was so outlandish, I figured it had to be true. Hmm...

I wish I knew about shakespeare.

Anyway, I finished reading Brave New World over break. It took me forever, I liked the book's envisionment of the future. I think my favorite little detail was how they put stuff like bovine uterine fluid into the fetus bottles, it reminds me of how we put fetal bovine serum in cell media, a nice touch that made me smile. I did have a lot of the trouble with the rest of book, that's why it took me so long to finish it. Before BNW, I don't think I considered much vulgar, but something about this book turned me off so much. I also thought it kind of dragged on for awhile and just wanted to end, and there were some future conventions that I grew wreary of quickly, ugh, electromagnetic golf, I thought that was pretty retarded, but not bad for 1931.

The speech at the end that Mustapha Mond gave was redeeming though, I REALLY liked it.

truth and beauty or comfort and happiness, pick one.

Now, I'm reading catch 22, I've got a few reasons for liking this book even though i'm only a few pages into it. the main character is named after one of my favorite animals and people faking sick.

fecaliser, fecaliser you're a fecaliser

2008-11-28T16:48:00.000-08:00

you poo poo poo, you poo poo.

A song a wrote for my sister's dog, after he pooped.

animals are so nice and honest! they're like big, warm, breathing ottomans.

If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it

2008-11-26T08:22:00.000-08:00

I was recently at a dinner party, we were listening to music, and I asked that Beyonce's, 'Single Ladies' be put on.

The only thing I love more than that song is that music video, and I cannot understand why anyone could dislike it, but my request was met with opposition.

One of the complaints I received about the song was Beyonce acts 'too white'.

I personally can't stand people who consider themselves open-minded, but evidently have no idea what being open-minded is about.

They comment made, predicated that Beyonce's behavior was somehow fraudulent, was based on what?

Do they have some insight into how Beyonce SHOULD act? Are these insights perhaps based on her ethnicity? If so what exactly are these insights?

Furthermore, how did he determine the guidelines for acting, 'too white', 'regular white', 'too black', and 'regular black'?

Are his guidelines based on a dichotomous view or some sort of spectrum containing other ethnicities?

But before I could ask any of these questions, he proceeded to explain his comments. His dislike for Beyonce comes from her personal appearance, her sometimes long blond straight hair and her skin tone (more specifically, an alleged change from darker to lighter), proclivities usually associated with members of the caucasian persuasion.

He balked about how 'young african american girls aspire to be like Beyonce'.

Obviously that statement cannot be held as fact, due to an innumerable amount of faults in the basis of this argument, even though he treated it as such.

I don't really understand why he didn't also balk at society, (if true) for making that one young african american girl known as beyonce deciding that's what she needed to look like in order to succeed?

Another thing I cannot understand is, even if Beyonce has decided to change her looks to look more 'white', what's wrong with that? There's all this hoopla out there that we're genetically geared to find people of mixed ethnic backgrounds more attractive, also it seems Beyonce has not abandoned her african american heritage in the least. She still performs what many would consider to be culturally african american music, she still flaunt features that are notoriously associated with african american women, (i believe she was involved with some song about being 'bootylicious', I'll have to check my sources), and she's married to an african american man, (which may or may not have anything to do with being true to your ethnicity).

It's most likely Beyonce was doing what she found necessary to be marketable and relevant.

It's also more likely, that person that made these observations, is a dumbass.

PSA

2008-11-26T08:07:00.000-08:00

Making a comment about someone else's behavior using absolutes.

When is that ever acceptable? How can it ever NOT sound like a criticism?

Ex.
"Whenever I come home, you're ALWAYS on the couch, watching TV"
"You get off work early, ALL the time don't you?"

Despite the obvious problems with the validity and extremity of those sentiments,
What's the purpose of those observations?

In the future keep your please 'observations' to yourself.

People need to realize a lot of their observations are soaked in their perceptions, which could *shock* be radically different from another's perception.

*What?! What I think and feel, may not be edict handed down from the frothy realm of truth!*

It's hard to hear that, but some day everyone has to realize the universe isn't 'youcentric'.

Creation Day

2008-11-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

It hath been proclaimed that sunday, thy sabbath, shall forhence be known as 'creation day'.

The Point of Blogging

2008-11-21T12:02:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've always written for myself. There is something extremely unsettling in knowing someone constructed a composition for others to read, that reeks of dishonesty to me, but it shouldn't. The very idea of writing, is incomplete without the end result of reading. Is something written, if there is no one to read it?

I think that's why I don't like blogging. I've realized I hate blogs. I hate them with a passion. I don't want people knowing my deep personal thoughts, but keeping a record of them is simply intriguing. I've written so many blogs over the past years and when I look back on them, I'm so shocked at my naivety, ineptitude, and shallowness. Considering that, I rarely engage in reading past blog entries.

Maybe I should rephrase that last paragraph, I hate blogs that focus on examining intra personal conflicts and dilemmas. Writing about something exogenous to your person is perfectly fine, however, I'm too self-absorbed to do that.

I think I won't dislike reading this entry a few years down the line, however it is rife with that self-awareness that always leads to my realizations of my own naivety, ineptitude, and shallowness.

If I make any resolutions soon, it'll be no more writing of personal posts.

curious, no?

Sadness

2008-11-03T10:50:00.001-08:00

I feeling down today, I don't have an specific reason just a lot of little reasons.
my life is reaching a standstill.

Again

2008-10-05T17:35:00.001-07:00

So I'm going to try a keep a blog for real this time. I've started a bunch before but I've also stopped writing in them. Maybe I'll write in it every night. This is a time I should be writing in a blog, I mean, this time of 'transition'.

Right now I'm watching King of the Hill. It's definitely one of my favorite cartoons. The episode I'm watching is about the whole 'going green' craze. Work is fun, but not that fun, I mean I'm still waiting to till the weekend every week. I want to start doing things other than watching tv and smoking, it is the funnest thing I have going on in my life.

I'm starting to realize that i'm tiring quickly with the 'party' scene here. I'm realizing that you can't get to know someone at a party. Well I feel like I've said all that I can say to a person at a party.

I think I have a real urge to get to know someone more intimately. Hmm, but this time it's different. I've realized before all I've wanted was someone to say they're be there for me unconditionally, but I realize it takes awhile for that. It just dawned on me, I think when I was searching for a person, there were people who were already there.

Yeah, I basically realized I might have really hurt someone, the retarded thing is. I didn't realize it for awhile. A really long while. God, I'm really full of myself, it's hard. I'm so daft sometimes. I also need to realize, I'm growing up every day. I keep realizing, i'm too focused on myself.