Again

So I'm going to try a keep a blog for real this time. I've started a bunch before but I've also stopped writing in them. Maybe I'll write in it every night. This is a time I should be writing in a blog, I mean, this time of 'transition'.

Right now I'm watching King of the Hill. It's definitely one of my favorite cartoons. The episode I'm watching is about the whole 'going green' craze. Work is fun, but not that fun, I mean I'm still waiting to till the weekend every week. I want to start doing things other than watching tv and smoking, it is the funnest thing I have going on in my life.

I'm starting to realize that i'm tiring quickly with the 'party' scene here. I'm realizing that you can't get to know someone at a party. Well I feel like I've said all that I can say to a person at a party.

I think I have a real urge to get to know someone more intimately. Hmm, but this time it's different. I've realized before all I've wanted was someone to say they're be there for me unconditionally, but I realize it takes awhile for that. It just dawned on me, I think when I was searching for a person, there were people who were already there.

Yeah, I basically realized I might have really hurt someone, the retarded thing is. I didn't realize it for awhile. A really long while. God, I'm really full of myself, it's hard. I'm so daft sometimes. I also need to realize, I'm growing up every day. I keep realizing, i'm too focused on myself.